Traversing the narrow trails of Moat Cailin, climbing the treacherous steep of The Wall, sailing through the rough Narrow Sea, all while sitting NOT on the iron throne but my red couch. I am the Couch Potato King, First of his Name, Ruler of the Red Couch and the Seventh Deadly Sin, Sloth. Welcome to my realm!
When Tyra pulled off a very memorable “Kiss my fat ass!” banter in her defunct The Tyra Banks Show, as her answer to the malicious circulation of her picture showcasing her digitally-enhanced, swimsuit-laden fat ass in tabloids and internet, everyone raved for her courageous stunt. That even won her an Emmy’s. Suddenly she became a role model, a positive image of woman embracing her full-figured, voluptuous form.
Fat women are now called full-figured women or women of curves. I’d say, good for them! But, in men’s case, they won’t be too comfortable calling themselves full-figured, curvaceous men, will they? That sounds funny and flat-out weird! So how do they spruce up their category? Bears, cubs, teddys, poohs? Uhm, nope. That’s too gay! How ‘bout stocky, chunky, sturdy? Too carnal! Ok, so I guess there’s really no flattering way to address men by their sizes. Not that they really mind. They’re not as complicated as their women counterparts anyway. Either way, fact remains, they are still “names” no matter how humanely they’re put.
For a while, I thought Tyra’s audacity can fuel-up a movement. An advocacy for people to be more comfortable in their own skin (or built, for that matter). It actually did. But the flame in the torch was too feeble. There were similar movements in the past to deconstruct the definition of beauty… such as the rise of Dream Girl Jennifer Hudson, Good Momma Queen Latifah, Phat (Pretty, Hot, and Tempting) Girl Mo’Nique. But ironically, they all slimmed down when their wallets got fatter. A mathematical equation that can be easily solved by science!
Beauty is subjective. It even lies in the eyes of the beholder. Yeah, I get that! But in the real world, there are standards. Lean, toned, supermodel standards! Many worked their ass out to comply with these standards. What about those who do not have the gene make-up to even stretch their flabby arms to achieve these standards? Are they reduced into just being commoners? They could only wish for fairy tales where commoners are magically transformed into royalties. But how many monarchs are left in the real world? And just recently, we are robbed yet again of another potential kingdom. Thanks to our fellow commoner, Kate Middleton! Wait, she’s so freakin’ slim for crying out loud!
And so, what’s left for people with “extra baggage?” I could only imagine. This is too depressing! I should have not tried to speak for them(wink!) in the first place. Even I was defeated by my own line of reasoning. So what’s the point?! The world remains vicious and superficial anyway. They can just kiss my fat ass! There I said it.
Do you agree with me, or think that I’m crazy? Either way, I’d love to hear your thoughts. You can leave a comment below.
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